Wednesday, April 14, 2010

angel eyes

so, on Saturday, i wrote what i believed to be an incredibly whiny post(yes, Aunt Christine and Uncle Tom, i hear you when you say i have to work on my complaining ability, but i'll save that for another day). so many of you have responded...i am blown away. the love and support that has flown to me across the 'net has been almost overwhelming, and i am grateful to you for it. your words have been a blessing to me...and to my little girl who has cherished all the well-wishes and prayers you have offered. thank you!!!

we finally were able to visit her specialist on Monday, which was a bit of a relief, and now i am faxing all manner of paperwork and release forms from here to California and Alabama and back again. this gastroenterologist does not want to repeat tests unnecessarily...and for that, too, i am grateful. i have great expectations of this man. i have made sure he is aware of them. i pray he doesn't disappoint.

a bit vexing is that all the things i'd believed were ruled out as a diagnosis for Helen are back on the table. big, scary things: cystic fibrosis, crohn's disease, celiac disease...those are just the three i remember at this moment. there are other monsters out there, i've just forgotten their names.

Helen ~ 9 months

when Helen was born (a week post-due and terribly traumatically) she was different from my other babies. she was present. older. aware. she had this piercing gaze and fierce determination...working so hard to hold her head up even in our recovery room. her eyes were captivating. you could see her sagacity at 2 days old.

i loved her immediately, with a fierceness that startled me. i knew her...had known her my whole life and felt a piece of me come home the day they released her from my womb.

Helen ~ 5 years

today, Helen is a self-assured, comfortable-in-her-skin 5 year old. she's wise and a manner that belies her age. she knows exactly who she is (i envy that), and she knows exactly who you are as soon as you meet. when her Goddaddy met her for the first time(she was 4 months old), he insisted on riding next to her carseat so he could lock eyes for the hour and a half drive from the airport. later, he confessed, "i had to. i couldn't look away...i know she sees me when she looks into my eyes. i could feel her see my soul."


Toni said...

I finally have a face to all the words I have read about her. Now I will see her when I pray for her. By the way, I know it is by far not the most important thing but I need to tell you your kids are some of the loveliest I have ever seen. I remember my Sicilian landlady telling me once, "You and Jeff make the most beautiful babies!". I am passing that complement on to you.

Jackie said...

Anna....your children are very special...:) But I have to admit Helen is a very special little girl....and thru you...has become very special to a lot of people. Thank you for sharing this as you have also shared what is going on in life. It is okay to share the is okay to's the natural thing to do. And even though we are miles apart please know that I (we) all care...and love you and your family. YOU are a very special lady and , hugs and prayers..xo

Tutu Cute and Moore! said...

Helen is one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. Not only does she have the eyes of an angel, but also the face of an angel. I pray that she will soon be in better health.