You Are Enough

 After many, many conversations about faith and plenty over the last week and a half, I have decided to publish this sermon.  May you find it of value.  Grace and peace to you this day.  xo~anna 

You Are Enough (Luke17:5-10)

Sermon for the people of Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Lake Stevens, WA

October 6, 2013

Pray with me.  “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”  Amen.

In this week’s Gospel lesson, the disciples are, once again, missing the point.  (These guys are so painfully human; it gives the rest of us hope, doesn’t it?)  In the verse before our text begins, Jesus has just informed them that they must be forgiving.  REALLY forgiving.  70 times 7 forgiving…and we know that’s not really a math lesson.  That’s Jesus saying we are to forgive and forgive and when we are just sick of forgiving, to do it again.

The disciples are overwhelmed by this instruction, and so they say, “Oh, Jesus, increase our faith!”  And Jesus gets irritated with them.  He tells them they have enough faith.  That even the tiniest amount of faith is enough.

I wonder if this is what the disciples really mean.  Are they concerned that they are lacking in faith?  Or are they concerned that they themselves are lacking?  Are they comparing themselves to an imaginary impossible standard and deciding that they just don’t measure up?

We do this often, you know.  We spend an excessive amount of time comparing ourselves to one another.  And somehow, we always decide that we are just not as smart, healthy, strong, competent, fast, creative, young, old, tall, available, dedicated, concerned, laid-back or whatever as the next guy.  And somehow this particular quality we decide we lack is the one that prevents us from doing the thing we proclaim we’d love to do.  For example, “if I were rich, I’d hire a sexton for Holy Cross so Pastor Susan wouldn’t have to play janitor all the time”.  Or, “if I weren’t so busy, I’d volunteer at the Salvation Army once a month”.  Or, “if I were younger, I’d get out there and weed around the church sign”. Or, “if I were older, I’d assist during worship.”  Or, “if I were smarter, I’d lead Sunday School”.  And there are a million examples of this in life outside the congregation, too.  Give yourself a minute…you’ll think of one.

The most dangerous of these “lacking qualities” is the one where we have convinced ourselves that we are unlovable.  Incapable of receiving God’s love and God’s grace.  Not whole enough to be called into leadership or servitude.  Not good enough.  Unlovable.  Worthless.

And this is where Jesus gets irritated with the disciples… and with us!  Because when we decide we are not good enough, we are choosing to shut God out.  We are declaring God’s creation “Worthless”.  We are losing our faith.  The moment we declare ourselves unlovable…worthless, we are declaring we know better than God does, we are shutting God out.  We are turning our backs.  We are saying that all the good things that we have and own and are are because we do them…because we are in control.

Here’s the thing about faith.  It’s not about us.  It’s about God.  It is about acknowledging that we are imperfect, but that that is okay because God is in control.  God is with us.  And when we hold on to the knowledge that God is there, even when we can’t see or feel it, God is able to work through us.  When we own our faith, we open our hearts to the good things God can do through and for us. 

Mother Teresa is arguably the most loving, faithful servant-leader of the 20^th century.  She lived her life in absolute financial poverty and humility.  She devoted herself  to the “wholehearted and free service of the poorest of the poor” as she lived among the street people in the slums of Calcutta, India, and tended the “untouchables”…those whom society had cast out:  the poor, the sick, the uneducated, the lame, the orphans, the widows, the dying.  She said, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for, and deserted by everybody.  The greatest evil is the lack of love and charity, the terrible indifference toward one’s neighbor.”   Mother Teresa became a powerful woman even as she shunned power, because the courage of her conviction and the abundant living out of her faith began to change the world…and presidents, kings, executives, and even the Pope began to hear her words and to listen. 

Yet, when she died, her personal letters were studied, and the world was stunned when they were published in 2007 in a book called Come Be My Light.  Mother Teresa lived the majority of her life in darkness of spirit as she confessed she could no longer “hear” Christ.   Once she began her work in Calcutta, she began to experience this deep spiritual dryness.  And yet, she came to understand through spiritual direction in the church that, “No one can long for God unless God is present in his/her heart.  Thus the only response to this trial is the total surrender to God and the acceptance of the darkness in union with Jesus.”  Mother Teresa began to feel a deep joy that “Jesus can’t go anymore through the agony—but that He wants to go through it in me.—More than ever I surrender myself to Him.—Yes—more than ever I will be at his disposal.”

This woman, this embodiment of love and pillar of strength, understood perfectly the overwhelming tasks to which we are called in our life with Christ.  She felt at times she lacked the faith to do the job, and she felt at times “not enough.”  But her willingness to open her heart and to allow God to use her completely to bring the light of Christ forth into the darkest of places, her willingness to reflect Christ into the bleakest of life’s situations enabled God to touch and to transform the lives of not only the people Mother Teresa touched with her hands, but also to transform the lives of people all over the globe…people Mother Teresa touched with her words and her example.  This woman, who struggled so violently with her faith on the inside, became the most visible and accessible example of a faith-filled life to the rest of the world.  Mother Teresa was certainly “enough.”

We are not all called to the kind of life Mother Teresa lived.  We are not all called to work in the church…but we are called to be the church.  We are called to be the hands and feet of Christ in this world, allowing God to use the gifts we have been given to bring forth the kingdom.  Perhaps not all around the globe, but certainly here in Lake Stevens, and in your own families, and with the lives that you touch every day.

If you aren’t wealthy, brilliant, young, older, creative, or whatever gift you see yourself lacking, what gifts do you possess?  What are you willing to use for the kingdom?  What are you willing to give back to God?  Instead of counting the ways we are lacking, we should honestly look at the love and grace God has bestowed upon us.  It is more than enough.  Because God has declared you “good”.  You, in all your flawed humanity with all the things you see wrong with yourself, God declares you “good’.  As part of Creation, God has declared you “very good”. 

So, perhaps instead of asking for bigger faith, we should be asking to have our hearts softened so that we can be more willing to be used by God.  So that we are willing to be open to our callings through our faith…that faith that shrinks to microscopic proportions sometimes. 

And, through our openness and our willingness to be loved, gifted, owned, and used by God, we will find our faith increased…because it was never about us in the first place.  It is about God’s abundant love and grace and willingness to claim us all. the. time.  Even when we feel we are lacking, God says, “You are enough.”

Amen.

I know Grief

I know Grief.   

We are neither friends nor enemies.  Yet neither are we merely acquaintances.  I know her intimately, her deepest darkest places and her familiar lines.  I would know her face in any country and recognize her silhouette in twilight. 

Sometimes she comes screaming with great fury and banging.  Sometimes she comes quietly, almost unannounced.  Sometimes her arrival comes as a great surprise.  Sometimes I know she’s coming and is just around the bend.  It is hard to know which meeting is more painful.  She never asks if her visits are welcome or if I am prepared.  She just comes.

She unpacks her sorrow and fear and leaves them strewn about the house of my heart.  She dims the lights and shuts out joy.  Sometimes she merely lurks like some small child hoping almost to go unnoticed as life swirls around.  Sometimes she rages and throws things until I hardly recognize my heart-home as my own.. 

Sometimes, she sits on my sofa and pulls my head into her lap, and she strokes my hair until I quietly weep.  Sometimes, she stands me up against the wall and provokes me until I do or say things to which I would never, ever agree, and often she accomplishes this treachery, this mutiny, without a solitary conscious thought on my part.    

The devastation she leaves in her wake varies in its magnitude.  Sometimes, the damage is a gaping hole as though someone fired a cannonball through the walls.  Sometimes, it is more a thousand tiny puncture wounds as though someone was over zealous with thumbtacks on the bulletin board.

And though I can never love her, I can never hate her.  Her existence is a sign that I am alive in this world.  Her arrival means that I have loved and loved deeply.

So, Grief has come again.  I was expecting her this time.  I have unlocked the door and cleared her spot on the sofa.

Midterm

i think i may have caught up with my coursework. maybe. here's hoping it holds! this week we were to give a basic summation of what we've learned thus far in the course. we were to look at how our views have changed (or not), and talk about what we plan to do with the information in our ministries. i've still not figured out exactly what my ministry will look like when i finish this journey, but here's my reflection for the week. blessings!

The most radical change in my wee brain is the thought and feeling surrounding the people portrayed in Genesis. As a child, I was taught in Sunday school to revere the “fathers of faith”. They were glossed over versions of themselves, and we only spoke of the good things. They became unreachable in my mind…I am certain my teachers were attempting to instill respect, but instead the shiny, infallible men were so slick and unreachable that they had no real impact on my faith. In college, we covered the entire Old Testament in one semester, so no real attention was focused on individuals. We paid more attention to sweeping themes.

It was not until this course that I really looked at these characters and saw their humanity…warts and all. I tried to imagine these men in the 21^st century. I am certain I would not be able to tolerate Jacob’s tomfoolery for long. Abraham is so thickheaded that at times I want to shake him a little bit. Isaac seems to be such a wallflower. Yet, God called each of them for a purpose. God asked that they be faithful. God gave them the strength and the means to follow God and to do what God asked of them. It did not matter (and does not matter still) that these people are fallible, warty, and rough. God chose them, real people no more equipped or worthy than I am, to bless, to lead, and to receive God’s promise.

The idea of God’s promise and plan has not changed for me, but it has been underscored in a new way. This happened just last week as we read the Joseph narrative. God was at work behind the scenes in the story all along, but it took the humans years to be able to see it. God has a promise and a plan for Israel, for humanity, for creation, and for me. We goof it up plenty, but God uses our mistakes and our evil doing to push us along God’s path and plan. Undoubtedly, it takes longer this way, but God does not revoke our free will. God allows us to be, and God works with what we give God.

The Bible is not just a moral guide full of interesting stories and weird rules. (However, its value as moral code should be neither dismissed nor assumed). The Scripture is vital to our understanding of where we have been and where we are going. The texts help us to understand that we are not the only ones to be called by God for God’s purpose and plan and yet who are so utterly unworthy.

Genesis is a microcosm of the Bible in its entirety. All themes of humanity, Christianity, creation, and life are right here. Even some of the very words Christ uses are found first here. Yet this book has been treated as an afterthought in Christian education for years…something to be dressed up in finger paints and glitter and to be talked about on rainy days. My personal challenge for ministry will be to pull these themes of relationship, off the shelf and into the light in a way that makes the people in Genesis seem real and relevant to God’s people today. No need for such good news of promise, blessing, and relationship to be hidden behind rainbows and elephants.

meet Elaine of GrannysKnits

i've struggled with writing about Elaine for an embarrassingly long time (this feature should have run in early September). it's a tough one for me not because i have to dig to find something to say, but because i have TOO MUCH to say.

i *met* Elaine about 2 years ago through Team EtsyBABY on Etsy. she seemed like a nice enough lady, and she surely was passionate about her work. so, when my 6th nephew was born, i ordered a sweater for him in black, gray, and gold (only time i'll say *Go, Army!* is for my brother-in-law's children). when it arrived, i was BLOWN AWAY. see, my guilty pleasure is knitting...and Elaine's knitting is the finest i've ever seen. nary a stitch out of tension. all ends invisibly woven in. absolutely incredible. then, i found out, Elaine does all her knitting...wait for it...WITHOUT A PATTERN!! she pulls this stuff out of her head! seriously.

read this interview. then read this article from the Storque (Etsy's blog). then, go to Elaine's shop. purchase warm wooly goodness with abandon. you won't regret it. i promise.

and when you're done with all that...leave a comment on this blog post. i'll use a random number generator to giveaway one of Elaine's superb doll sweaters...i'll show you 2 tomorrow...if you're the luckiest gal/guy on the planet, you can choose which one you'd like.

~When did you begin knitting?

I was six, and bought needles, yarn, and a "Learn How to Knit" book.

~Why did you choose your type of knitting to work with?

until Jordan and my grandson were born, I made a variety of sizes and items.

When I became mom to then 2 year old Jordan, my knitting time was sharply cut!

I started making baby sweaters here and there, and then decided to try to get enough together for a craft show.

That didn't happen, then five years ago I found out my older daughter was pregnant.

OK, GrannysKnits started to take shape.

~Do you have a favorite design of your own creation?
the blankie that I made four years ago, when my grandson was born.....it's his FAVorite!

~Do you also collect dolls?

I have a collection of one; my sweet sassy Willow!

~At what point did you realize your gift was more than a hobby?

Probably in the 80s, I was doing a few craft shows while raising my two girls.

~Describe your workspace.

oh boy, that's funny! ;)

You name it, it's a workspace. I carry knitting in my purse!

~What is your favorite part of the process.

Choosing what I'll make from a particular yarn, and the actual knitting!

~What is your least favorite?

finishing, finishing, finishing!

did I say finishing? ;))

ANYthing that requires me to sew, I'm NOT good at it.

~What inspires you?

yarns~

more often than not, I buy a yarn, and then later decide what to knit from it.

~What is the best time of day for you to create?

morning (as long as I have enough coffee!)

~Tell me about your biggest fan.

at this point, I'd have to say my 4 year old grandson.

He loves the sweaters, and other items I make him, and since he's 3000 miles away,

I love that I'm the person who knits for him.

~What is your strangest request?

I was knitting at a craft show, years ago, and a woman stopped to ask if she could borrow my pattern.

I explained politely that I was using it!

she told me "Well, I'll photocopy it, and mail it back to you in a few days!"

(She was not nice about my turning this request down, either!)

~What is your favorite request?

Any request that Anna makes!

~Which similar artist do you most admire? Why?

Wow, there isn't just one. Anyone from whom I can learn .............

and grow, but not copy.

The late, great Elizabeth Zimmerman is a perfect example.

~What do you know now that you wish you knew when you began? (Or what piece of advice would you give to someone first starting out in your field?)

When I actually decided to try to sell my creations?

I wish that I had the time/ability/brain power to learn the world of cyberspace, and how to take wonderful photos ;)

~Tell me an artist you’d like to have subjected to these questions (someone you’d like to know more about)?

Jackie of Totzhatz

~What is your favorite flower? Why?

LILAC

I love the color, and the fragrance ;)

Humanity...

Week 3 of course work. our text is still Genesis 1-11. we were answer: "how does Genesis 1-11 shape your conception of humanity and how does that conception relate to your culture's dominant construal of human nature?"

easy-peasy. HA!

anyway, these are my thoughts for the week.

blessings to you!!

Humanity is the climax of creation. What joy that we should be so desired and cherished! God called us into being. God did not suffer a slip of the hand when the world was new…we are not an “oops!” God made us in God’s image and bestowed the care and keeping of all God has created upon us.

This care and keeping is not permission to plunder the bounty of the world or to use one another for our own purposes. God’s gift is a passing of privilege and responsibility. We are made in the likeness of God, with the same goodness as God, and God sets us free upon creation with a blessing and a charge: we are to care for creation as God does.

The text tells us that God was incredibly intentional about the creation of the world. Gen 1:1-2:3 God took time and considered what was to be. Creation was not a whim; rather, it was a process. God enjoyed what God had made each day and declared it “good”. We are to see the value that God sees and to treat creation as such. We are to use resources wisely to be good stewards. We are to treat each other as God treats us…with care, with compassion, with deep love giving to one another the best gifts we have to offer.

As humans, we are not perfect. God gives clear directions, and we choose to ignore them or to respond to the smallest amount of the directive possible (My 9-yr old is a master of this latter function. I call him my “line-toer”. Humanity is brilliant at this sort of disobedience as well!) God has called us into being and granted us free will. We are given guidance, suggestions, and commandments by God, yet we fail to see or choose to ignore them.

I consider myself immersed in two cultures. One is my “real-life” community, which is comprised of a community church, two elementary schools, family members, long-time friends, and a strike fighter squadron in the Navy. The second is my “on-line” community, which is filled with people daily involved in the handmade craft community either as businesspersons (crafters) or as consumers. It is interesting to me that my real-life community is diligent about the care and keeping of humans. We feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the lonely and imprisoned, and tend the sick. My on-line community is committed to the stewardship of the rest of creation. We sparingly use resources, consider carefully the materials used for our craft, conscientiously research shipping methods to reduce our “carbon-footprints”, and review these policies of other crafters/artisans before we make a purchase. I would rejoice if my two communities could combine our efforts!

God made us in God’s image, but God did not make us God. We are given the choice to follow God’s directions, and often we choose not to. This freedom (and ultimate failure) is also a gift. God loves us no less because we choose not to obey. Our failure gives us the opportunity to experience God’s grace. God’s grace gives us yet another chance at obedience. Another chance gives us the prospect of following God’s will for us and for all of creation, to be a blessing, and to fulfill God’s charge.

Pentateuch

Pentateuch. sounds like something you might catch from being improperly dressed, no? but actually it is the name for the first five books of the Bible.

i enrolled and began coursework at Luther Seminary. and now, i am knee-deep in the Old Testament. i debated for a bit but ultimately decided that some of you just may want to hear what i have to say on the subject...for all sorts of reasons (you, dear readers, are a varied lot!).

the text for week 2 (this week...the first week was "hello, my name is so-and-so...this is where i live and who i am, etc...but you already know that) is Genesis 1-11. the question for contemplation is "how is the Bible true?". this, my friends, is what i've come up with thus far:

Genesis is a faith confession. As such, it seeks to tell us the way God intends our world to be. God is. God created every thing, and we are the paramount event in all of Creation. God saw what God had made and declared it good. We fall, falter, fail and God recreates. God makes all things new.

The truth in these chapters for me is that God is a giver of blessings and a keeper of promises. “God blessed them…” Gen 1:28. When we miss the mark, when we disappoint God, God picks us up, sets us again on the path, and blesses us so that we may try again. “God blessed Noah…” Gen 9:1. Time after time in the text, humanity shows its frailty. We turn from the instructions we are given. We shame ourselves and seek to hide from God and from one another. We give in to anger. We disclaim responsibility for our actions. Time after time, God redirects our actions, forgives our sins, and blesses us.

This truth is a source of great comfort to me. I know there is nothing that can keep me from God. God has chosen me for good and has saved me from sin. All that God requires of me is faith and trust.

This is not a revelation in my life. I was blessed to be born into a family of faithful, trust-filled people. The “ah-ha!” for me is that each time I revisit God’s promises and blessings, I have a much longer list of sins and shame and things-I-wish-I-had-done-differently, yet each time, the message is the same. “God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good…” Gen 1:31. No matter how far I fall from rightness, God still claims me. God still calls me “very good” if I am able to be redirected in faith and to trust in the path God places before me.

Genesis is also a book of beginnings. The world is made. Humanity is born. Faith is created. Sin is forced into being. God begins his covenant(s) with us. It is a launching pad to the relationship that God is continually forming with us from the Beginning to the End. “See, I am making all things new….” Rev 21:5. Thanks be to God.

the super big project

when anxiety or worry takes over, i find myself drawn to fiber. i like to hold it, squish it, spin it, finish it, knit it, smell it (does that make me weird??)

it is fairly obvious to anyone who knows me well that there are some major things going on in my little world. the mounds of freshly carded fiber (thanks Erin, Ducky, and Mande!) are piling up. the spinning wheel is whirring more often than not. the skeins of gorgeous yarns for doll hair are stacking up in the studio.

several months ago, i spun a yarn that i couldn't part with. something about it made me pause. so, i began knitting. a triangle. then, i found another yarn. and another yarn. and another yarn. and i knit them up, too. into triangles. lots of oddly shaped, variously sized triangles.

a week ago, i finally figured out what to do with them all. i'm going to continue to knit them until some large life things are settled out...and then i'll need a professional finisher. got any suggestions?




all the yarns in this particular project are spun by batts from Erin of WoolyHands on Etsy. (well, except for one...it was spun by Erin...but i need to remember to ask if it was her batt!)